SEX Vs. LOVE
Author
Nordika
original
Source: Wayback Machine
nordika writes "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..............................
Or should I say
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.............................. ~grins~
This is something that I have been pondering lately.
I have found a reoccurring attitude towards these two things.
It seems that many out there feel that you can not have one without the other and to do so means you are of low moral fibre. Now not all people feel this way, but a large enough number that it surprises me. The other thing that sends shock waves through me is the number of men that feel the two are combined. I always thought this was a woman's POV.
So being a full-on-woman I decided to share my opinions on the matter.
SEX = SEX
LOVE = LOVE
They do occasionally meet and when they do it can be a fairly powerful, magical, moving experience. But SEX can be pretty powerful, magical & moving all on it's own. ~smiles~
The most passionate, powerful, earth-shattering sexual encounters I have had, have not been with someone I loved. Someone I liked & cared about, ABSOLUTELY, but not loved. It has never taken away from the memory, nor has it made me feel like less of a person because we did not share the bond of love. I am NOT ashamed of these encounters, in fact when the passion was lacking in my marriage I used these moments to help ignite the flames of desire within myself.
The deepest love I have ever felt has been with those I have not had physical relations with (well 3 out of 4 not including blood relatives) . I love these people with all my heart. I would do anything for them, they are a part of me in every sense of the word. Not having sex with them has in no way affected my ability to love them completely and fully. If anything it has made me find ways to show my love and caring in more emotionally intimate, meaningful and long lasting ways.
So what have I learned in my lifetime of sexual meanderings and loved filled moments?
Not a lot.....
BUT I have learned what I like: };-) PASSIONATE, POWERFUL, RULE-BUSTING, HEART-POUNDING, CRY OUT, MAKE ME YOUR BABY SEX! Sex without the added pressure "making everything right" or worrying "will he/she think I'm weird?".
AND what I don't like: being told "I love you" during sex, or even WORSE, being asked "Do you love me?" during sex. Not because I don't love the person I'm with but because it totally blows the mood for me. It is pressure to elicit a desired response at a time when I(you) should be able to express my(your)self freely.
Now this is just my opinion but I do feel pretty strong on it. It bothers me to no end when I see people forcing themselves into relationships because they had sex, and worse yet those who sit atop thier mighty moral ground and condemn those of us who do not subscribe to the idea that sex is for the expression of love only. The separation of church and state was mandated as should be the separtation of Sex and Love. They will get into bed together occasionally, but it's a matter of choice not morality.
~wink~
Well that's my rant.
~kisses everywhere there's skin~
"
Or should I say
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.............................. ~grins~
This is something that I have been pondering lately.
I have found a reoccurring attitude towards these two things.
It seems that many out there feel that you can not have one without the other and to do so means you are of low moral fibre. Now not all people feel this way, but a large enough number that it surprises me. The other thing that sends shock waves through me is the number of men that feel the two are combined. I always thought this was a woman's POV.
So being a full-on-woman I decided to share my opinions on the matter.
SEX = SEX
LOVE = LOVE
They do occasionally meet and when they do it can be a fairly powerful, magical, moving experience. But SEX can be pretty powerful, magical & moving all on it's own. ~smiles~
The most passionate, powerful, earth-shattering sexual encounters I have had, have not been with someone I loved. Someone I liked & cared about, ABSOLUTELY, but not loved. It has never taken away from the memory, nor has it made me feel like less of a person because we did not share the bond of love. I am NOT ashamed of these encounters, in fact when the passion was lacking in my marriage I used these moments to help ignite the flames of desire within myself.
The deepest love I have ever felt has been with those I have not had physical relations with (well 3 out of 4 not including blood relatives) . I love these people with all my heart. I would do anything for them, they are a part of me in every sense of the word. Not having sex with them has in no way affected my ability to love them completely and fully. If anything it has made me find ways to show my love and caring in more emotionally intimate, meaningful and long lasting ways.
So what have I learned in my lifetime of sexual meanderings and loved filled moments?
Not a lot.....
BUT I have learned what I like: };-) PASSIONATE, POWERFUL, RULE-BUSTING, HEART-POUNDING, CRY OUT, MAKE ME YOUR BABY SEX! Sex without the added pressure "making everything right" or worrying "will he/she think I'm weird?".
AND what I don't like: being told "I love you" during sex, or even WORSE, being asked "Do you love me?" during sex. Not because I don't love the person I'm with but because it totally blows the mood for me. It is pressure to elicit a desired response at a time when I(you) should be able to express my(your)self freely.
Now this is just my opinion but I do feel pretty strong on it. It bothers me to no end when I see people forcing themselves into relationships because they had sex, and worse yet those who sit atop thier mighty moral ground and condemn those of us who do not subscribe to the idea that sex is for the expression of love only. The separation of church and state was mandated as should be the separtation of Sex and Love. They will get into bed together occasionally, but it's a matter of choice not morality.
~wink~
Well that's my rant.
~kisses everywhere there's skin~
"